


Yes is not implied

by DarthWriter



Series: A long way toward making you mine [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Bottom Steve Rogers, Consent Issues, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Fight and Makeup, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Makeup Sex, Miscommunication, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Rough Sex, Top Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 10:26:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27469468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthWriter/pseuds/DarthWriter
Summary: Steve comes with Tony to a fundraising.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Series: A long way toward making you mine [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1898233
Comments: 9
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

"You don't _have_ to come you know."

Steve jerked his head on the side. His eyes met the mischievous glint in his boyfriend's gaze. Tony had a fond smile on his lips. "What?"

"You look like I'm taking you to a slaughterhouse..." Tony explained, tone playful. "I can drop you off at the next bar if you'd rather..."

Steve sighed and fondled the idea for a moment.

"You're the one who harassed me to come with you... It's a little late for that now." 

Tony let out a surprised laugh and turned his head toward the window, avoiding Steve's hungry stare. It sounded so beautiful and sexy. "Yeah but I don't want to force your hand." He said, biting his thumb nail nervously.

It felt important somehow, to him.

"Nah..." Steve said while shaking his head. "I can totally get hammered to that charity thing if I want to, and for free. Besides, you did make me buy this for the occasion, remember?" He pulled on his brand new tuxedo that Tony assured him suited him very well but in which he felt extremely uncomfortable. "I might as well put it to good use now."

Tony chuckled softly, eyes mocking. "It's for a good cause." He said with a gentle, slightly husky voice. _Tease._

His eyes were a little hesitant though and Steve felt like he needed to reassure him so he put his hand on his knee and gently squeezed. Tony inconspicuously shivered but looked at him with a soft smile. "This is one thing my mum did good in her life I suppose..." Tony added in a whispering voice, sounding a little bitter. 

Steve slipped his fingers into his hand and grabbed it firmly. "I said I'll come, didn't I?" Steve said resolutely and then he dropped his boyfriend's hand to cup his cheek and give him a languorous kiss, because he was a little stressed out and Tony looked so fucking good in his three-pieces tuxedo and Steve had pretty much wanted to do that as soon as he saw him standing in front of the elevator, waiting for him with a sly smile.

Tony was a little caught off guard but melted into the kiss and started moaning into Steve's mouth. He brought his hand onto Steve's and he grabbed his wrist with a firm grip. Not to remove Steve's hand but to keep it there, warm against the skin of his neck. Steve deepened the kiss, Tony let him and gently brushed his cheek with his other hand, eyes intense on him. They kissed again and it lasted, as neither of them was ready to let go. Tony grabbed his neck. Steve tangled his fingers in Tony's way too perfect hair and tousled it. They licked and they bit and groaned into each other's mouth until the car the stopped. It was so hot Steve was already half-hard.

Tony pulled away and stared at Steve with half-lidded eyes, a lewd glint burning in them. His lips were red and shiny. He looked debauched and something warm pooled in Steve's chest at the sight of him. "Shall we go?" Tony suggested with a raspy voice, his smile was dancing on his lips. 

Going out of that car was the last thing Steve wanted to do right now but he braced himself and nodded while biting his lips. It was for a good cause indeed, one that was close to his heart.

The flashes blinded them as soon as they got out of the limo. Tony held his hand firmly. He could always count on his boyfriend's overconfidence and self-control in those situations. Steve just let him take the reins and gladly followed his lead. They posed for the paparazzi and Tony flashed his sexiest smile while holding Steve in a tight and protective embrace. He hoped his own smile wouldn't look too strained. He felt a slightly perverted pleasure however, at seeing how his boyfriend looked a little disheveled like they just had hot angry sex in the car. It was both embarrassing and extremely arousing. 

Once inside, Steve made a beeline for the gargantuan buffet and grabbed something to eat before his first drink. It was gonna a loooong night and Steve had low alcohol-tolerance. He sighed in advance while watching his boyfriend mingle with the crowd like it was his second home. He envied his social ease so much right now.

Steve had a few chitchats in between flutes of champagne. He looked at Tony from time to time, trying to ignore the little pangs of jealousy he felt every time he gave a slightly insistent smile or a flirtatious pat or when he sexily threw his head back when he laughed. It was all part of his bold and charming public persona—that Steve hated—and he had forced himself to accept it. He particularly hated when Tony showed himself to be demonstratively seductive with women, invading their personal space, sliding a powerful hand on their slender waists or whispering in their ears. Steve knew his purpose was to make them spend more money. Women were generally more likely to be generous than their husbands. Still, the fact remained that Tony _was_ bisexual and, at twenty-nine, was still considered most eligible bachelor in the US, despite them being officially together for more than three years. So yeah they weren't married and rather discreet over their relationship but— _fuck_ —that didn't mean it should be disregarded as if it was a fucking phase or something, because Steve was pretty sure it was not. Although he kept doubting, especially because those women had attributes that he definitely didn't have. And Tony was... Tony was fucking amazing, and young and brilliant and had countless hungry suitors ready to snatch him away from him at the first careless mistake he would make.

He ordered another drink and ate one of those delicious petit fours while feeling grim. He stared at Tony again, this time he was talking to a man, grey hair, in his sixties, a distasteful political smile and dishonesty transpiring through his entire demeanor. Steve was glad Tony was in charge of entertaining that kind of men. He would never be able to keep a straight face and smile. He watched how Tony smiled and moved his hands around him and turned away, uninterested. He sipped from his fourth champagne flute and moved from the buffet, decided to find another chatting companion before drinking a fifth one. After all, Steve had now made a name for himself and certainly didn't need his boyfriend to hold his hand in that kind of event. But then he looked at his boyfriend again, because he had a sudden bad feeling. Tony was still talking enthusiastically and smiling politely as the man was taking his hand in a thankful political handshake. There was something wrong with that. Steve wasn't sure what was wrong about it, in appearance the scene looked pretty common for those kind of events. No-one would look twice at it. Except Steve knew his boyfriend, and even down four drinks, he could tell that something was off and the more he saw them interact, the more he felt like he needed to be there. Maybe it was just misplaced jealousy again. But Tony's smile was a little too strained and his movements were a little too wide and he seemed a little too tense. And his eyes were a little too unfocused. 

Steve gulped down the rest of his drink and despite feeling his head spin a little he quickly strode there and slid his hand possessively around Tony's waist, slipping his fingers underneath his waistcoat and holding him close. The gesture might have been a little clumsy, overprotective and a little too demanding, maybe slightly inappropriate too, for that kind of event. They usually didn't make a habit of being overtly affectionate with each other, especially in public. He felt a little stupid and blamed it on the alcohol but Steve had needed to mark his territory either way.

Except that, against all odd, Tony didn't rebuke him. He melted into the touch and turned amused eyes to him, smile a little relieved. Steve felt him relax in his embrace and he brought a strong arm around his frail shoulders to keep him close to him. 

"Senator," Tony said while holding his drink toward the obnoxious-looking man, "this is my partner, Steve Rogers." He said proudly, showing Steve off. "Steve is an artist. Outstandingly talented."

The man looked down at him and spread an ugly smile on his face. "So I heard." He said with an unpleasantly hypocritical voice. 

"Senator Stern and I were discussing environmental issues, honey, he said he would push for further regulations. Isn't that great news?" He said excitedly while glancing gratefully at Steve. Tony's smile was about as hypocritical as Stern's when he spoke to him. He looked at the good senator again. "The environment question is something we both deem really important, isn't that right, honey?"

His boyfriend's falsely affectionate pet names and his honeyed voice made Steve feel sick but he bore with it. The conversation dragged and Steve was bored to death, in addition to his repelled feelings toward the man. But every time he tried to disentangle himself from Tony's hold, the latter tightened his embrace and brought him close, hiding an inconspicuous shiver. So Steve stayed. He asserted his possessiveness over Tony and glared at the man every time he tried to come closer. Tony only let him go when the man was at a reasonable distance and disentangled from him with a relieved sigh. 

Nothing was said. Tony went his way and kept seducing potential donators. Steve went back to the buffet and ordered his fifth drink with a bad taste in his mouth but it was only in the car on their way home that he breached the subject.

The evening ended relatively early and it was barely past midnight when they were back into the limo. Tony slouched on his seat and pressed his eye sockets with the palms of his hands while letting out an exhausted sigh. "Argh, what a nightmare!" He exclaimed. "Can't wait to get home." When he removed his hands, he glanced at Steve with a loving smile. "Have you survived?"

Steve answered with a shy, worried smile. There was still something about that party that bothered him.

Tony didn't pay attention and quickly picked a bottle of brandy from the small bar to serve himself a drink under his dubious stare. Steve looked at him perplexedly while he poured the brown liquid into a glass. 

"You're sure it's wise to have another drink now?" He remarked with concern.

Tony turned to him and smiled, looking slightly condescending. "Don't look at me like I'm an alcoholic, babe. I'm fucking fine, alright."

"I'm just saying we both drank a lot tonight. Maybe we should take a break."

Tony chuckled incredulously and teased Steve with a mischievous smile. "You obviously more..." He said mockingly. " _I_ can hold my liquor, for one." Although he just looked and sounded as tipsy as Steve. 

"I've only had five and I stuffed myself like a pig..." Steve retorted. "I didn't see you eat, though."

Tony abruptly turned to him and frowned at him. "Whatever, Steve." He snapped. "You're not my fucking dad. Don't patronize me!" Steve looked away and pouted, rolling his tongue on his teeth. "You gonna join me or what?" Tony finally asked.

"No thanks." Steve replied while looking out the window, feeling something churn in his stomach. Booze didn't suit him well. 

Tony downed his glass quickly and pulled down the window, staring outside, uncharacteristically quiet and fidgety. A cool breeze freshened the compartment and Steve shivered. 

"I'm cold..." He whispered.

Tony turned to him and smiled teasingly again. "It's barely early September, babe. It's _not_ cold _."_

"Yeah... and _I'm_ _cold._ " Steve snapped, glaring at him. 

"Fine."

Tony pulled the window up and sighed, still unsettlingly silent. Steve started to feel uneasy. He bit his bottom lip and swallowed before glancing timidly at his boyfriend. "Were you able to raise enough funds, at least?" He finally asked, trying to make conversation.

Tony looked at him with gentle eyes and smiled at him. "Yeah." He answered. "A good night overall. Beyond our expectations by far."

"Good. I'm glad."

"Thanks for coming through..." Tony added with a soft whisper. "I was glad you were here. I hate those things as much as you do, you know?"

Steve smiled and shrugged, feeling his stomach unclench a little. He took his boyfriend's hand and squeezed, Tony squeezed back and they remained silent for a short moment before Steve opened his mouth again. "So..." He started, sounding nonchalant, "that Senator looked like a truly detestable person..." 

Tony jerked his head in his direction with a look of surprise. He unconsciously squeezed Steve's hand tighter. "Yeah, he's a proper asshole." He replied, glancing away. Slightly nervous.

"Have you met him before?" Steve asked, falsely disinterested. 

Tony shrugged. "Once or twice. He was good friends with Obi—adiah Stane." He explained and looked like he regretted it instantly. He shivered again, very inconspicuously, Steve wasn't fooled though. "My world is a small world, Steve." He added with a raspy voice. "We always hang around the same people."

"Do you think he's serious about those regulations?" Steve asked, mildly concerned by the issue at the moment.

Tony breathed in through his teeth. "Probably not..." He said absent-mindedly. "I wouldn't count on it anyway."

Steve buried himself into the car seat and crossed his arms. "Fucking politicians..." 

Tony chuckled. "Fucking politicians, indeed." He agreed. "We're gonna have to change the world ourselves, honey. I'd drink to that." Steve snorted, feeling grim. "At least he was generous tonight..." Tony muttered as a bitter conclusion.

"Good to know..." Steve whispered, looking out the window again. He still felt uncomfortable with the casual mention of Stane and the awkward distance between them that seemed to grow. 

The ride ended in relative silence. Tony seemed restless. Steve pretended not to notice. He just glanced at him furtively when he wasn't looking, a little worried. When they finally got home Tony couldn't wait to get out of the elevator to escape the uncomfortable proximity with Steve. Steve watched him rushed out to the dining room while taking off his clothes and scattering them all around, feeling a pang in his chest.

He was just wearing his shirt and trousers when he went to the bar and fetched another bottle of brandy and a glass. Steve walked carefully to him but remained at a reasonable distance. "Are you alright, babe?" 

"Fucking fine!" Tony spat. "I just need a drink..."

Steve bit his bottom lip and hesitated before speaking his mind again. "I think you've had enough for tonight."

Tony swirled around in a fury and glared at him. "You know what, Steve? _Fuck off!!!"_ He yelled. "I'm a big boy. I can get plastered in my own fucking house if I like! Stop nagging all the fucking time! _You're doing my head in!"_

Steve felt a lump growing in his throat that he tried to swallow with difficulty and breathed out a shuddering sigh. He was standing still, unable to move, and stared at his boyfriend helplessly. Tony poured himself another drink, despite Steve's concerned remark. 

Tony drank his glass in one go and poured himself another one before turning around and facing Steve. He leant against the bar. His right hand was shaking, just like it did when he was nervous or stressed out and needed a smoke. He stared into Steve's eyes with a piercing gaze, meant to unsettle Steve. Steve shivered and looked down, unmoving.

"What?" His boyfriend asked angrily.

Steve glanced up at him and looked down again. "You're scaring me." He whispered, words struck in his throat. 

Tony laughed but it sounded bitter. "I'm scaring you?" He asked incredulously.

Steve attempted to walk a few steps forward and shorten the excruciating distance between them. "I don't understand... " He said hesitantly. "What have I done?"

Tony chuckled and dropped his head in his hand, pressing his eye sockets again. "Nothing." He said exasperatedly. "Nothing, _Steve._ Nothing." He stared at him, expression forlorn and desperate. "I'm just exhausted." He chuckled again but it almost sounded like a sob. "Just go to bed, alright? Leave me the fuck alone."

Steve didn't move. He felt another pang in his chest and was lost for words. He bit his lips again and stepped closer. "Why don't you talk to me, Tony?"

Tony raised his head and stared into his eyes. A whole range of emotion flashed through his eyes and he clenched his jaw. In an abrupt gesture, he brutally grabbed Steve's wrist and held him tight, pulling him closer. Steve startled and parted his lips. For a split second he got scared but it soon turned into confusion when Tony didn't do anything else. His grip was strong though, and unbreakable. 

They stared at each other for a short moment. Tony was frowning at him, pouting angrily. Steve stared back at him with a growing puzzlement settling in his chest. He watched his boyfriend gulp down his second drink with a certain detachment. Tony grabbed his face with his two hands with an unusual violence and kissed him. "I'm sorry." He whispered on his lips. "I shouldn't have yelled at you." And he kissed him again. It was urgent and brutal and fierce.

"Tony wai—" Steve tried to say before his boyfriend's tongue interrupted him. He felt a jolt of electricity down his spine. A sudden surge of desire invaded him. Alcohol didn't help. His boyfriend was holding him firmly, pressing against him. He kissed him again and Steve melted into it. He let escape a moan before coming around and reasoning himself. He put his hands on Tony's shoulder and tried to inch away from him. "Tony wait! Sto—"

His boyfriend interrupted him again by kissing his neck, drawing a gasp out of Steve. He grabbed both his wrists and pushed him against the bar behind them. Steve's back hit the bar and it hurt a little. He gasped again and parted his lips. He had never seen his boyfriend so angry and so out of control before, at least not directed at him. He realized how strong he was, way stronger than him. Tony could manhandle him like a puppet. Steve hated that a little and at the same time, he thought that was really hot, but maybe that was the alcohol talking. Tony's mouth was on him again, devouring him, and Steve instinctively wrapped his arms around him.

Tony tore off his shirt and kissed down his neck, biting his skin softly, while his hand slipped into his pants and fiercely grabbed his dick. Steve was already hard and Tony muffled his moan with another brutal and languorous kiss. Then he pulled his hand out, frustratingly, and grabbed Steve's waist to push him against the nearest surface that was the right height to bend him over it. When Steve's back bumped into the dining table, Tony's hand grabbed his neck and squeezed a little while he kissed him one last time before swirling him around and pushing him down.

He pinned his neck on the table while Steve wriggled his ass, equally scared and aroused. He was breathing hard against the wood, his head was spinning with desire, his nape hurt a little. "Tony..." He whimpered, not sure if he wanted to make him stop or encourage him. He didn't have the time to ponder, because Tony spat on his ass and shoved two uncaring fingers inside. Steve moaned half with pleasure, half with pain. He tried to push himself off the table. "Ton—aaaah...."

His boyfriend was ruthless and if Steve was being honest, it turned him on but... there was something a little wrong about it. Something that lingered at the back of his head and pooled at the bottom of his stomach. Tony spat again, into Steve's ass, which made him gasp and shiver with want. Then he spat onto his own cock and spread it all around, smoothing the slide. Soon he was pounding hard and relentlessly into Steve, hand covering his mouth. Steve indulged in it at first. Each thrust sending spikes of electrifying pleasure in his entire body but then it became more pain than pleasure and Steve cringed and keened as he heard Tony's thighs smacking against his own after he had grabbed his waist with both hands for better leverage. Tony probably realized because at some point he mumbled an insincere "sorry" and slowed down, grabbing Steve's dick to make him come. 

Steve came quickly, there was too much anger between them, too much frustration, and when he tried to get up and return the favor, Tony pushed him back down on the table and fucked into him relentlessly until he came inside. This time there wasn't any pleasure. When his boyfriend spurted inside, he planted a soft kiss on the nape of his neck and when he was done, without a word, he pulled out, pulled up his pants and left him there.

Steve straightened up on shaky legs, a little shaken by the whole thing. He watched his boyfriend's back walking away from him with a growing uneasiness settling in his heart. "'m gonna take a shower." Tony grumbled.

Steve felt a tremor in his jaw. He fumbled with his pants trying to tie them up. "Tony wait!" He shouted out desperately. His heart started racing. The sex, ever though torrid, had left a bitter taste in his mouth and he wondered what had just happened. He had never felt so distant from his boyfriend after sex. He felt a twinge in his heart. The door slammed and Steve's body shuddered from head to toe. A growing uncertainty pooling inside. 

He remained planted there for a moment, stunned, his body shaking a little—what the fuck had just happened?—but then he snapped out of it and rushed to another bathroom to shower as well, feeling distressed.

The warm water soothed his growing anxiety and helped him pull his head together. He touched his body, the places Tony had pressed. It still hurt a little. Steve didn't remember that sex with Tony had ever been so rough, not even at the beginning. He might bruise and didn't like the prospect. They needed to talk. He went to their bedroom and waited for his boyfriend to get out of the shower. He stayed in there for about forty five minutes. Steve's heart was pounding in his chest. When Tony finally got out, wearing a T-shirt and a pair of shorts, he barely looked at him and headed straight back to the living room, to serve himself another drink. Steve felt his rage boil up inside and strode behind him angrily, fists clenched and teeth gritting. 

Tony was half-seated on a stool, his back turned to Steve, and held his nth drink in his left hand. His right hand lay on his knee, shaking a little. "What are you doing here?" He asked in a bitter, angry tone. 

"I _live_ here." Steve snapped back. 

Tony let out a long sigh and wiped his face with his right hand, the left one still clutched the glass of brandy. "I'm fine, Steve." He rasped. This time the anger was gone from his tone, only remained the bitterness and the exhaustion. "Everything's fine."

Steve felt a shudder of rage throughout his body. "You're not. And _nothing_ is fine." He shouted. _"This_ is _not fine."_

Tony jerked his head around and looked at him with a startled expression on his face. 

"You might be upset but _you don't get to lash out at me like I'm a punching ball._ " Steve yelled, jaw shivering with rage and anger pervading in his voice. _"And the fact that I'm your boyfriend and that we live together doesn't give you the right to vent out your anger and frustration on me. You don't get_ _to_ use _me, Tony. You don't get to use me to release your stress or lash out at me, or offload your angst. I'm not your toy! You don't get to use my body and treat me like a sex doll."_ Tony stared at him with confusion, lips parted. Steve paused and stared back, catching his breath. His chest was heaving. " _You_ do not _automatically have my consent."_

They stared into each other's eyes silently for a very short moment, just enough time for Steve to see Tony's crestfallen face grow pale and distraught and his lips shiver. And then he heard a bang and a smashing sound. He didn't how it had happened but Tony's glass was scattered all around him, on the bar and on the floor and he was staring at his trembling hands.

Steve opened his mouth in shock. Tony rushed toward the elevator. His hand was bleeding. "I'm gonna go to the workshop." He just said in a hoarse voice. Steve felt his rage blow up. 

"DON'T FUCKING FLEE AGAIN!!!" He shouted, but the elevator's doors were already closing on him and he was left here on his own, his body shaking with rage. He felt a shiver run down his spine and tears prickling at the corner of his eyes. He let them flow out and stared at the elevator in despair.

After he pulled himself together, he picked up the remains of Tony's glass and cleaned up. Then he drank some water, to rehydrate. Then he tried to read a little and take his mind off things, and then watched some TV, tried to sleep, toss and turned and almost cried again out of exhaustion. Nothing could distract from the heavy twinge in his chest.

Then he heard some noise outside and noticed the light so he got out of the bedroom and saw Tony on a stool, a cigarette in his right hand and another glass next to him.

"You're smoking again?" He asked, wanting to make conversation but unable to keep the reproachful tone out of his voice.

"Still here?" Tony's answered, back turned to him.

"You think I can sleep?" Steve asked, trying to ignore Tony's ambiguous question. After all, Steve still had his apartment.

Tony dropped his head in his hand and brought the cigarette to his lips, it wasn't lit though. He didn't inhale, he put it away and sighed and then he drank from his glass. He put the glass down next to him and swallowed painfully. Steve walked closer to him and pushed his boyfriend's nervous right hand away from his mouth. Tony yanked it away. "Don't fucking touch me!"

Steve startled and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "It's been almost a year, Tony."

Tony abruptly turned his head back and glared at Steve, baffled. "Is that all that matters to you right now? Whether I'm gonna smoke that fucking cigarette or not?" He snapped.

Steve opened wide eyes to him and stared at his boyfriend in puzzlement. His features were strained and exhausted. He had dark circles under his eyes and looked ten years older. He grabbed his glass and Steve's eyes flickered to it. He noticed his hand was bandaged.

"It's just fucking _water."_ Tony grumbled and turned away from Steve to take a swig. Then he took a deep breath and sighed again. "I'll help move out." He rasped.

Steve felt a shiver run down his spine. The lump in his throat was almost choking him. "Are you throwing me out?" He croaked out in a strangled voice. He felt the panic rise inside.

Tony wiped his face with his right hand, the cigarette still clutched in between his fingers. "I don't wanna fight you." He let out in a desperate sigh. "I won't fight you, Steve. I'll get you the best lawyers—"

Steve thought his mouth gaped open. "What the fuck?" He quickly skirted around his boyfriend to face him, leaving a few feet between them. "What are you talking about?"

Tony rubbed his chin, looking away. "When you—if you wanna press charges..."

Steve stared at him confusedly, clueless. His voice was slightly shivering. "Are you out of your mind? Why would I want to press charges against you? For what?"

His boyfriend looked miserable, something dark and forlorn was pooling in his eyes. "I'm so sorry..." He whined. Then Steve finally understood what he was talking about, and the relief almost made him smile.

"Tony..." He whispered gently but his boyfriend interrupted him.

"I'm so sorry, Steve."

"Tony, please, listen to me—" Steve tried but Tony ignored him, eyes avoiding him at all cost.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

 _"Stop being so dramatic!"_ Steve snapped. "Will you fucking listen to me?" Tony jerked his head up and finally looked at him. "I'm not pressing charges." Steve explained with a gentle, reassuring voice. "And I'm not moving out." He added. "And I'm not breaking up with you. What is wrong with you?"

"You should..." Tony said ominously. 

"You're not a rapist, Tony. Get this ludicrous idea out of your head now!"

"That's not what you—"

"I _know_ what I said, babe!" Steve shouted frustratingly. "I was upset. I was angry and frustrated because you won't fucking _talk_ to me. I'm sorry if I implied something like that, I just wanted to get a reaction out of you. I just wanted you to _listen_ for once. I never meant to say that you assaulted me."

Tony inched backward and stared at Steve, unconvinced.

"You're my boyfriend." Steve said with that same gentle, soothing voice. "I love you. And I liked the sex, I—I _came._ I just—"

Tony's face turned suddenly cold and serious. "I've been raped for half of my life." He said curtly. "And I liked it too."

Steve startled and fell silent for a short moment. This was the first time that Tony used that word, to refer to himself. The first time he acknowledged, out loud, what had happened to him. That was a huge fucking step for him and Steve felt so moved for a while. He brought his hand to Tony's, the bandaged one, and rubbed it softly, making sure he would not to hurt him.

"Don't compare me with an eight-year-old boy who was alone, lost and confused, and easily manipulated. I'm perfectly aware of what consensual means." He bore his eyes into his boyfriend's. "It's not about the sex... I didn't like being used. It didn't feel right... I felt bad afterwards, because I knew there was something wrong and you ignored my feelings. And you kept rejecting me for no reason. It's not all black and white, Tony, it's fucking _gray—you're_ the one who taught me that. And we're gonna make mistakes, and we'll probably keep doing shitty things to each other but we're gonna talk them through. You don't need to be so fucking extreme all the time..."

Tony looked at him and his face seemed to relax a little. Something like gratitude pooled in his eyes. 

"What I'm saying is..." Steve went on. "Please don't do it again! And I don't mean the rough sex, Tony... I mean, I can _be_ a source of comfort to you, I can listen to you, or just be there for you... but I _can't be_ your outlet."

Tony kept looking at him but didn't say anything. He felt strangely distant and Steve's uneasiness started to grow in his chest. They were not fine and he was helpless. He felt the tears prickle at the corners of his eyes. "Please talk to me, Tony." He begged in a shuddering voice, his hand still warm on Tony's.

His boyfriend kept silent. 

"I know you." Steve carried on. "And I know that something's been wrong since that party." Tony eyes flickered with pain, he looked away for a split second and looked back into Steve's eyes, looking miserable. "And it's killing me to see you like this..." Steve whispered in a shuddering breath. "I don't know what to do, and it's killing me. You keep saying that everything's fine when obviously you're not. And I _know."_ He exclaimed in hoarse, broken voice. "I know it has something to do with that Stern guy. And I wish I could help. I wish you'd let me be there for you..." He stopped, because his voice was faltering and because Tony's expression fell apart. His face paled and Steve could clearly see the tremor in his jaw. His lips trembled. His entire body was shivering. A mix of fear and agony was pooling in his eyes.

"Please..." He implored, in a heart-wrenching strangled whisper. "Please, don't ask me about it."

Steve parted his lips and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He felt the tears trickle down his cheeks and wrapped himself around Tony's neck, hugging him into a strong and comforting embrace. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he whispered. "We don't have to know everything about each other. But I'll be there for you and I'll listen to you if you ever wanna talk about it. Just, please, don't push me away! Don't pretend that everything is fine and drown your sorrows by yourself, and then tell me to go to sleep like nothing's happened... because I can't."

Tony buried his head into his neck and curled his arms around Steve, Steve tightened his embrace. He felt his boyfriend quiver spasmodically. Tony broke down into his arms and wept silently into the crook of his neck.

After a few minutes, Tony jerked and hiccuped against him. He let out a strangled, shuddering breath. "I feel so dirty." He whispered into Steve's neck. Steve squeezed even tighter, protectively, and said nothing. He just planted soft kisses on his head and held him tight against him.

"Let's go to bed now, babe. What do you say?" He suggested after some time. "We still have a couple of hour to get some sleep before we need to get up." And then he whispered softly, so gently into his tousled hair. "I love you."


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm clock was torture. Steve had barely slept two hours and the prospect of his day to come just depressed him even before it began. He stirred from under the covers, unconsciously searched for Tony's presence next to him and stretch his tired arm toward his side of the bed but found no Tony, just the still warm shape of him on the mattress and his familiar scent. Not unusual, Tony always woke up earlier than him—almost always—but this morning Steve felt particularly anxious about Tony's absence. Steve had felt his boyfriend's body spasm all night long. He grumbled, moving his limbs was an utter ordeal, they were as heavy as anvils. His head hurt like hell, and yet he _had_ drank water.

He got up anyway, lids half-open and sticky with sleep, and rubbed his unfocused eyes before heading for the kitchen. Tony was there, in his usual spot, his usual cup of coffee smoking next to him and his right hand raised up on the table, holding an unlit cigarette.

He wanted to say something about it but refrained, for fear of Tony's reaction to his overbearing concern, so he shut his mouth and made a mental note to talk about it later when Tony was in a better mood. 

Just like every morning Steve walked behind him and brushed his fingers on his boyfriend's back. Tony shivered and sighed melancholically so Steve stopped and wrapped his arms around him and enveloped him in a loving hug. He planted a silent kiss onto his neck, that made his boyfriend shiver again, and released him as soon as Tony grabbed his wrist to make him stay. He felt Tony's gaze linger on his back when he made them breakfast. Just like every morning Steve came back to the table with food and sat opposite Tony after leaving a bowl of cereals in front of him. 

Just like every morning, Steve started smiling lovingly while tilting his head on the side when his boyfriend pouted in front of the food. Except that today, Tony didn't eat the food. He just mumbled an inaudible "I'm not hungry." without raising his eyes from his cup of coffee. He had no tablet or phone in hand this morning. 

Steve startled. "You're never hungry in the morning." He whispered with a croaky, slightly concerned voice, "but you still eat the food..."

Tony raised his head and stared at him with a confused face. Steve gave him a fond smile. Did he really think Steve wouldn't notice?

His boyfriend looked tired and miserable and Steve felt a pang in his chest. He lost his appetite, not that he had been very hungry in the first place, so he left his food untouched and got up instead, skirted swiftly around the table and slipped in between the table and his boyfriend to straddle him before he could venture any kind of protest. He blanketed him with his slender self, surrounding him with all his love and warmth, and took advantage of his confusion to snatch the cigarette from his hand. Tony didn't react to the theft but slid his hands up his back and wrapped his arms around him, burying his head in the crook of his neck in a melancholic sigh.

"Please indulge me." Steve whispered softly into his ear while running gentle fingers into his hair. He felt Tony's chest shake with a silent chuckle and tightened his embrace. "Also, where the hell did you find cigarettes?" 

Tony chuckled again, hiding in the crook of his neck. "Emergency stash." He rasped. 

"Yeah, I need to do something about this... Can't let you ruin all those months of effort. JARVIS?" He shouted out toward the ceiling. "I need to know where Tony hides his fail-safe packs of cigarette and get rid of them urgently, it's a matter of health. Will you help me with that?"

"Yes, sir." The disembodied voice answered. "I'm at your service. Especially when Mr Stark's health is in jeopardy."

"Good." Steve said, feeling satisfied. 

Tony didn't protest, he just chuckled once more and somehow his laugh turned into silent sobs, muffled in the crook of his neck, and Steve's felt another pang in his chest. He curled his arms around Tony's head and held him tight against him, as tight as he could without literally choking him.

"Are we fine?" Tony asked after a short moment, his voice a barely audible broken whisper.

Steve kissed the top of his head, pressing smiling lips against his soft hair. "When you stop trying to randomly throw me out every time we have a spat."

Tony shuddered. "I feel like shit." He rasped out in a strangled sob. His hold around Steve was strong however. Steve kissed him again and tangled his fingers in his hair, in soft caresses. 

"Tony..." He whispered. "Is this about us? Or about that party again?"

Tony tightened his embrace around him, so strongly that he could hardly breathe, dodging the question. "I don't wanna live without you." He croaked out.

Steve felt his lips quirk up in a happy relief. "Good." He replied. "Because I'm not going anywhere. You won't get rid of me so easily."

"I don't deserve you."

"You deserve the world," Steve retorted, running his fingers in Tony's hair softly, "and I hate you for being so quick to give up on us." 

Tony didn't say anything else but he smiled and started nuzzling softly into his neck, leaving a hot trail of wet kisses on his skin. Steve shivered and felt his entire body tingle with desire. He inched away from his boyfriend, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by the intense heat between them. Tony's hands slid down his back and settled on his waist. He raised his head and looked up, eyes hazy. His wet lips searched Steve's, demanding a kiss. Steve complied and wiped absent tears from his boyfriend's eyes. "Stark men are not supposed to cry." He said with a teasing grin. 

Tony caught his mouth again and kissed him languorously. "I love you." He whispered against his lips. Steve gasped and felt a jolt of electricity running down his spine right to the tip of his cock. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

Steve wasn't able to answer because Tony barely let him breathe and kissed him again, very softly, lovingly. He kissed again and again, until Steve's body was a furnace in his strong embrace, a bundle of lust and need.

He stretched his back away from Tony and looked at him, full of intent. "Shower with me?"

They both left their breakfast untouched and walked to the bathroom holding hands, led by the ecstatic energy of Steve. Once inside, he made a quick job of getting rid of his pajamas, before Tony could even comprehend what was happening, and laid his hands on his boyfriend, touching him as much as Tony let him. The latter shivered and looked uncomfortable but Steve had a point to make and he slipped his fingers underneath his T-shirt and pulled it up. He planted soft kisses on his chest and Tony let him, then slipped his thumbs under the brim of his shorts, arms surrounding him, and pulled them down softly, brushing them on his half-hard cock.

His boyfriend was now gloriously naked in their huge shower, silent and hesitant, and Steve tiptoed to grab his neck and give him a hot reassuring kiss, until he felt his lips curl into a smile.

The shower ran hot on their tired bodies. Incidentally, they both _had_ to shower and get prepared for their day at work. Steve mechanically poured some shampoo on his head, a little out of it, and washed away the remnants of stress and grief that last night had stirred up. He was lost in his thoughts for a few moments and then he looked at his boyfriend worriedly, still feeling some weird tension between them. Tony kept rubbing and rubbing himself at the same places as if to remove some imaginary stains from his skin. Steve watched him silently, he was unusually tense and his hazy, unfocused eyes pooled with something far and forlorn. He pressed his hand on his heart, Tony snapped out of it and his eyes focused on him. Steve took the washcloth from his hand and stared up into his eyes, strong and determined.

"Are you trying to scrub your skin off?" He said with a teasing smile. Tony didn't smile back but he felt him relax under his touch. Steve waited, hand pressed on his chest, until his boyfriend's body was free from all the stress and the tension and he started to brush the washcloth softly on his skin, gently spreading lather on every part of him. "Let me do this." He husked out, plunging his eyes into his. They were both cleaner than clean by now but it didn't matter. Steve kept spreading lather on his boyfriend's body, massaging the skin, easing the knots away, taking possession of him again until Tony was completely relaxed under his touch, giving himself to him. The water stopped running at some point and soon his hands replaced the washcloth and his touch became slow caresses and Tony started to breath heavily, chest heaving. His eyes were half-closed, his lips parted. Steve kissed his sorrows away, starting with his shoulders, "There is..." and then his chest, "nothing", and down his stomach, "wrong..." Tony gasped and shivered and wavered on his feet. "Or dirty," Steve kept on, slowly kneeling down at his feet. "Or ugly..." He grabbed his asscheek for leverage and planted a last kiss on the inside of his thigh, "about you." He said in husky, hungry voice.

By the time Steve was on his knees, Tony was fully hard, cock springing proud and erect in front of him, beautiful. Steve smiled smugly and stared up at him, lips brushing the inside of his thighs. His boyfriend had his eyes closed at first and was biting his lips. Steve nipped at his skin and they flared open, lewd and burning with desire. No grief, no pain, no stress, nothing but pure lust and silent gratitude.

Steve grinned, eyes mischievous and full of intent. He grabbed Tony's thighs right above the insides of his knees and stared intently into his eyes. "Can I take it into my mouth?" He asked, boring his eyes into Tony's, determined to get his explicit consent. 

Tony chuckled but it sounded more like a desperate keening sound. "Fuck Rogers... You don't have to ask."

"Yes, I do." Steve replied in a choked whisper, inaudible even to himself. He straightened up on his knees and firmly grabbed his boyfriend's ass, drawing a sexy, wanting moan out of him, and started licking slowly the underside of his cock with the tip of his tongue right to the top of the head. Tony gasped and lost balance. He caught himself on the wall, hands splayed wide on the wet tiles, while Steve swallowed the head of his cock and teasingly grazed the underside of it with his teeth. He sucked his cock, slowly, softly, relishing in the way Tony's body responded so earnestly. He was rock-hard too, incidentally, but that didn't matter at the moment. Only Tony mattered. Only pleasuring him was important to Steve right now and he took a sadistic pleasure to bring him slowly to the edge, until his moaned and shivered from head to toe, and slow down, to make it last. He slid his mouth along the shaft softly but surely until the head touched the back of his throat and then he pushed further, slowly deep-throating himself on Tony's hard rod. This was something he had learnt to do with Tony. It wasn't something he craved for, not like Tony did, but he didn't mind doing it and he knew his boyfriend loved it. So he swallowed the entire length of his boyfriend's cock and moaned around lewdly, aroused by the knowledge that Tony would love it. 

Tony did. He gasped and his knees buckled and his legs were shaking. He brought a soft gentle hand to his face, entangling his fingers into Steve's hair. Steve's body vibrated at the gentle gesture filled with amazed gratitude. He nodded softly, silently telling Tony that he could fuck into his throat if he wanted to, but it wasn't enough, Tony had lost the confidence. So he pulled away and with a raspy, broken voice he looked up at his boyfriend intently and whispered softly. "You can fuck my face if you want."

Tony's eyes flare-up with burning want and he parted his lips in surprise. Steve smiled at him reassuringly and swallowed his cock to the hilt. Tony hummed in pleasure and brought his two hands on each side of his face, holding him gently, brushing his skin tenderly and thrust so very slowly and gently into his throat. Never before Tony had been so gentle while face-fucking him. It was new and delicious and Steve's entire body shivered with desire and pleasure. He understood why Tony loved it so much. It was exhilarating to feel so overpowered and controlled. The gentleness was overwhelming and Steve let it go completely, mind drifting away in the limbo of ecstasy, until he felt that Tony was close. He pressed on his boyfriend's thigh softly and Tony stopped right away and pulled out slowly. Steve looked up at him, eyes teary, and Tony brushed a gentle hand on his cheek before heaving him up. His eyes were hazy with lust and he grabbed Steve's face with both hands to thank him with a hot, though gentle, filthy kiss. Then he kissed the corner of his mouth and down his chin, along his jawline, and kissed his way down into his neck, making him shiver with want. his hands were running up and down his sides and Tony grabbed his dick, humming into his neck and grinding against him. 

"No." Steve blurted and Tony let it go at once. "I wanna come on your cock." Tony inched back and stared at him in a mix of confusion, concern and desire. Steve curled his arms around him and pressed himself into his embrace. "I want you to bang me hard and fuck the cum outta me. I wanna come untouched, just with your cock inside of me."

Tony's expression softened. "You sure?" He asked worriedly, a glimpse of shame flashing through his eyes. "I mean—"

"I'm sure." Steve replied determinedly. "I'm fine. I'm not a fucking virgin, Tony. I can take it." Yes, last night had hurt a little but Steve was being fucked regularly enough that the little amount of spit had been enough for him not to hurt afterward. He wasn't even sore. He wrapped his arms even tighter around his neck and kissed him on the mouth. "And I have a very specific idea of how I want you to fuck me."

Tony melted into the kiss and chuckled. "Okay." He muttered against his lips, humming with desire while grinding against Steve. He looked into his yes, expectantly.

"I want you to hold me into your arms," Steve explained, answering his boyfriend's unsaid question, "grab my ass and take me against that wall until my back hurts. And I want to feel your tongue in my mouth the entire time." Remembering being overpowered by Tony's strength last night had just stirred up his fantasies. 

Tony pressed him against the wall with his bulk, hands leaning against the tiles, and kissed him languorously. "Okay." He whispered, kissing him one last time on his lips and then on his temple, before he walked away from Steve. Steve grabbed his wrist in a panic, Tony chuckled but didn't turn his head back. "I'm just fetching some lube." He said softly and before Steve realized, he was back at his side, hand on the nape of his neck, rubbing the skin of his neck softly with his thumb. "Turn around," he whispered.

Steve complied and turned against the wall, leaning on his forearms, head pressed against the wet tiles. His cock had softened a little but he arched his back to give Tony full access to his ass. Tony came closer and grabbed his shoulders to kiss him on the nape of his neck, and then on his shoulder blade. He pressed against him and Steve could feel his hard-on poking at the small of his back. He arched more. Tony's right hand slid down his arm slowly and he grabbed Steve's hand, intertwining their fingers together. His left hand was delicately holding his nape and gently brushing his skin.

Steve had no idea how long he kept caressing him, he was so fired up that each of Tony's touch brought him deeper into an exulting haze. He gave up control entirely and let Tony play with him. 

Soon he felt two lubed-cold fingers brushing his rim and he gasped in pleasure and want. The fingers breached him slowly, hot and slick, and pushing into him so very delicately. Tony pulled them out alternately while pushing in further every time, his left hand still firm but gentle on his neck. Not for long though, Steve was no beginner, he didn't need to be prepared so thoroughly. Soon Tony thrust three fingers in, teasingly, infuriatingly, pushing into him slowly but harder and deeper, curling them inside and grazing his soft spot every time. His left hand slid down his nape and landed on his shoulder while Tony kissed his way into neck, licking and nibbling at the soft skin there. Steve gasped and let out a long shuddering keen. He was more than ready but Tony kept fucking his fingers into him so excruciatingly slowly, adding more lube and a fourth one, stretching Steve even more, until he was just a gasping and shivering mess and started breathing hard and erratically, shuddering with want and frustrated pleasure. He arched his back and keened pleadingly, Tony slid his left hand down his shoulder and his arm and grabbed his hand to pin it against the wall next to his head and intertwined their fingers together. He kept kissing his neck and fucked into him softly. He added the beginning of his thumb and thrust harder. Steve was rock hard now and started dripping, he wanted more and he wanted harder and deeper but Tony kept teasing him, fucking him with his five fingers, rubbing his prostate again and again until Steve cried out with want. When Steve was almost ready to take the whole fist inside, Tony stopped and turned him around. He leant his back against the wall, holding his weak and trembling self straight. He grabbed his face in his hands and kissed him passionately. "I love you, Steve." He whispered desperately into his mouth, grinding his hard-on against Steve's belly. "I love you so fucking much." 

Steve would have liked to answer but he just moaned helplessly while Tony kept kissing him, wiping the tears he hadn't known he had from his eyes.

Then he grabbed his ass and heaved him up, pressing his back against the wall. Steve curled his arms and legs around him. Tony pushed him against the wall as he held his own cock and slowly but surely Steve sank down onto his shaft. "Yeah, baby." Tony husked out. "Fuck yourself onto my cock." 

Steve was stretched open and his boyfriend's cock slid in too easily until he was buried to the hilt. Steve let out a long shivering moan and tightened his grip around Tony. Tony grabbed his waist to settle them in the best position and started pounding into him slow and hard and deep, gripping his waist firmly and kissing him, just like Steve had asked. It was so fucking good and hot and exhilarating and Steve was barely conscious. It didn't take long for Tony to bring him to the edge. He fucked him hard and relentlessly, breathing heavily into Steve's mouth until Steve couldn't take it anymore and buried his face into the hot and sweaty tense muscles of Tony's neck, whimpering helplessly. His boyfriend's body was trembling into his embrace and he groaned and gasped in pleasure and Steve was so fucking close.

And Tony stopped and dropped him slowly, breathing hard and heavily. 

Steve still had his arms curled around his neck and pressed himself against him. "Why did you stop?" He whined. "I was this close... Keep fucking me!!!" He ordered in a nasty tone. 

Tony let out an exhausted laugh and leant his forehead against Steve, catching his breath. "I can't." He croaked out with a self-deprecating smile. "I can't hold it for that long—I can't carry you that long... You're too fucking heavy, Rogers." 

Steve startled and looked at his boyfriend disappointedly. He was breathing hard and his shoulders and chest heaved heavily. Steve had to face the facts, Tony was out of breath. One must be realistic, fantasies were rarely practicable in real life. Tony slowly caught his breath and brushed gentle fingers on his cheek. "I'm sorry." He mumbled while kissing him and chuckled softly against his lips. "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

Steve tightened his embrace, kissed him back with an unconvinced though forgiving pout and groaned into his mouth.

Tony held on his promises.

He grabbed his hands and swirled him around to hold both his wrists in one hand, pinning them behind his back. With his other hand he grabbed his nape possessively—not squeezing, not hurting, just holding him—and he walked them to their bedroom. He brutally pushed him onto the bed, on his knees, without ever hurting him, and pressed on his nape softly to anchor him to the bed. Still holding his hands behind his back in a strong grip, he adjusted Steve's position on the bed with a gentle hand on his waist and thrust into him.

He pounded hard and deep, harder and deeper than ever, at a fast, punishing rhythm, making a point, and soon Steve forgot about his earlier disappointment. His cock rock hard and dripping against the inside of his thigh, his cries and moans muffled into the sheets, he got what he asked for. He was on the edge again. Tony slowed down then and fucked deep and lovingly into him, making sure he grazed his soft spot at every thrust. Steve felt the spikes of pleasure from his ass to his cock and to his brain. His entire body shuddered with overwhelming pleasure. He finally cried out and came undone, spilling himself onto the bed, untouched. Tony fucked him through orgasm until Steve's body stopped spasming and just when it started feeling uncomfortable, he pulled out. 

Steve rolled over on his back and looked up at his boyfriend blissfully, gratefully and filled with love. Tony's eyes were wanton, burning with lust. They stared into each other's eyes for a short moment. Steve smiling in satisfied delight, Tony still up on his knees, stroking his own cock slowly. 

"Come in my mouth." Steve asked— _pleaded_. Tony's eyes flickered in confusion. "Jerk yourself off and make me drink your cum."

Tony parted his lips and shivered with want. He happily complied and jerked himself off above Steve's mouth while he was stroking he spent cock slowly, still feeling high with pleasure. Tony came beautifully, his magnificent body trickling with beads of sweat, spasming and jerking as cried out a long groan and spurted white squirts of thick hot cum onto his face. Steve swallowed everything before Tony could have the chance to lick it off his face and smiled at his boyfriend happily while he was catching his breath. 

"You always thought it was gross." Tony blurted, still out of breath, hand on his cock. His chest was still heaving. 

"Nothing that comes out of you is gross." 

Tony giggled, eyes still closed in the haze of orgasm. 

"You're the only one I've been doing this with." He said more seriously. "I've never hated it with you."

Tony's breathing was slowing down slowly. He pinched his lips and took a deep breath before opening his eyes again and smiling back at Steve. Then he lay down next to him and caught his mouth into a hot, cum-tasting, filthy kiss and they snuggled against each other.

Steve brushed his hand underneath Tony's chin and glanced at him sidelong, eyes tired. "You were amazing." He said hoarsely, voice filled with gratitude. "I like it when it's rough too, you know." He smiled at Tony's sheepish face. "I like it when you dominate me. I loved it every step of the way."

Tony shut him up with a kiss, blushing embarrassedly. "When have I ever dominated you? You keep ordering me around," he snorted and rested his head against him, cuddling him into a sweet post-orgasmic embrace. "You're so lucky, though." Tony mumbled, humming softly against Steve's chest, "I wish you could fuck me against a wall like that too." Steve chuckled and brushed his fingers into his hair. "I could do it before..." He added elusively and Steve felt a pang in his chest. Then Tony abruptly lifted his head off Steve and stared into his eyes with a sly grin. "Do you think _Thor—"_ Steve let out a surprised chuckle and interrupted his boyfriend with a smack on his head. 

"You're still fantasizing about Thor?"

"Oh yeah... Aren't you?" He answered provocatively. "I mean, have you seen the guy's body?"

"No." Steve denied slightly too loudly to be completely honest "I don't look at my friends that way." 

Although, the idea might have crossed his mind once or twice but that wasn't something anyone should ever admit, he thought. Tony stared at him with mischievous eyes. "Liar." He said with a dancing smile and he dropped his head on Steve's chest again, let out a long exhausted hum and slumped down on Steve completely, already falling asleep.

Steve shook him awake. "Don't fall asleep, we're already late for work."

Tony rolled away from Steve in a protesting whine and snuggled into the sheets on his side of the bed. "I'm taking the day off." He mumbled softly. "JARVIS? Cancel all my appointments for today. Tell Pepper I'm feeling unwell. I'm not getting out of that bed until tonight."

Steve had sat up and looked at his boyfriend burrowing through the sheets with a fond smile. He brushed gentle fingers on his face, removing his damp hair from his forehead. "JARVIS?" He called out. "I'm taking the day off too."

He got off the bed only to wipe off the remains of his own cum and jumped back into it while cuddling his boyfriend. They didn't sleep right away, they kissed and snuggled against each other and told each other how much they loved each other, hands never-endingly touching.

When they finally dozed off and Steve felt himself fall into a restorative slumber. Tony stirred next to him and placed a hand on his chest. "Steve...." He whispered, sounding a little worried. "Has it happened before?"

Steve unwillingly forced himself out of sleep and rubbed his eyes to stare at his boyfriend questioningly. "What are you talking about?"

Tony's eyes were glittering with a forlorn concern. "I mean, have I... Did we... Have we ever done things you didn't consent to?"

Steve sat up in a jerk. "What?" He exclaimed. "No! What are you saying?"

Tony looked away. "I mean, I... I... at the beginning—"

Steve brought a firm hand on Tony's shoulder. "Tony, stop it! You're not like that..." He said with all his intent. "I mean, yeah, I admit... that at the beginning, things were a little fuzzy and confused. You didn't explicitly ask for my consent and we did things I never thought I would do before, and I was weak to your charms... but in the end, it's always been consensual. Because everything we did, I wanted it. I've learnt so much from you Tony, you're not the only one who's changed. I grew up beside you too... And I assure you that you _never_ forced yourself on me. When I truly didn't want something, or when things were making me uncomfortable, you stopped. Every time. Even last night, you stopped when you noticed you were hurting me." Steve scooted closer, seeking the reassuring body warmth of his boyfriend. He needed him to be close. He needed them to be fine. He needed Tony to know they were fine. Because they were... "You've always been instinctive—sometimes brutal—in sex but you've also always paid attention, Tony. You've always cared. Don't ever think like that." He wrapped himself around his boyfriend in a comforting embrace. 

"What if it happened with someone else?" Tony asked in a hurt, strangled voice. "I've had so many hook-ups... I don't even remember half of them. What if it happened... with someone else, with—with a _woman?"_

Steve swallowed a lump in his throat. "Tony stop! Nothing like that happened. Believe me, you'd have known!"

"What if my dad or Obie took care of it before I heard about it. They're both dead now. I'll never know." Tony almost sounded panicky. Steve could feel his heart racing in chest. He didn't know what to do, so he shut him up with a kiss. Tony startled but it worked and Steve gave him a gentle, comforting smile filled with all his love.

"Stop freaking out, baby." He said with a soft, soothing voice. "Nothing happened." He declared and he meant it with all his intent. "Nothing happened because you were never like that. You've never forced me or anyone else. Even drunk off your face. Even doped. You've never been like that."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I'm sure." Steve insisted, still smiling fondly. "I'm sure because... the very fact that you're asking yourself that question now, tells everything about you. I _know_ you, Tony. And the line has always been blurry in your head, but only when it came to _you._ Never the other way around."

Tony stared at him silently, with an unconvinced pout on his lips. "Are we fine?" He asked after a long lingering silence.

Steve responded with a smile and brushed his fingers on his cheek again. "I'm fine." He finally answered. "Are _you_ fine?"

Tony looked down and Steve ducked his head to kiss his doubts away. "I love you, Tony." He whispered soothingly.

"I think I am." The brunet finally said. "I'm just exhausted."

"Good." Steve concluded. "Cause if you're not, I'm warning you, I won't let it go so easily. I'll keep kissing you, and cuddling you, and snuggle against you, until you are. I'm a leech."

Tony laughed and this time it was happy and relaxed. "I thought _I_ was the leech."

Steve smothered his laugh in confusion. "Where does this come from?" 

_"You_ said that." Tony answered with a sheepish grin.

"When have I ever said something like this?"

"At the beginning, before your birthday. You said I sucked out the life out of you."

Steve burst out laughing. "How can you remember that kind of things?"

"I remember everything." Tony said softly, although he meant it. "I mean, when I'm sober..."

Steve stared at him and felt a surge of love overwhelming him. He kissed his boyfriend because Tony was so handsome at that very moment. So handsome and strong and vulnerable at the same time. "I should have called you a succubus." He husked out and heard Tony chuckled smugly and he kissed him again, ruffling his head with a tender caress."You know what I'm thinking?" He said on a more serious tone. "I think we should go away for the weekend, take some time off, the two of us. What do you say?"

Tony's smile shied and he grabbed his hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Where do you wanna go?" He asked, so very seriously.

"Surprise me." Steve answered with a cocky smile. "But first..." He grabbed his boyfriend's face and kissed him one last time while pulling him down on the pillows, into his arms. "Sleep!" He commanded. "I very much have the intention to stay in that bed with you until the night comes and fully intend to use your body to my heart's content... but I'm not getting any younger."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it! Any kind of feedbacks would make me tremendously happy! :)


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